1. There is no worse feeling than waking up to find loads of empties strewn around your kitchen
2. Because it means that you have to make the inevitable journey to the bloody bottle bank
If there’s one thing proven to make the fear worse, it’s empty bottles.
3. Now of course you don’t go to the bottle bank immediately
Oh no. That would be too smart.
4. Instead you leave the bottles to accumulate in a bag for life in the corner of your kitchen for weeks on end.
STOP STARING AT ME.
5. Finally, once all the bottles have matured and developed their own personalities, you decide to bring them to the bottle bank
*lugs them into the car and immediately becomes alarmed at all the alcohol you have consumed*
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6. “Oh, these aren’t all mine. I just had a really big party this weekend. Some of them actually belong to my neighbours.”
7. God forbid if you don’t own a car, though
If you don’t own a car, the bottles can expect to languish in some forgotten corner of the house until God knows when.
8. PLEASE SOMEONE TAKE THESE OFF OUR HANDS
If you don’t, I’m going to THROW THEM IN THE BIN AND NOT RECYCLE THEM AT ALL.
9. Because if you’ve done the Sad Walk To The Bottle Bank, then you’ll know it’s not… fun
10. Once you do make the trip to the bottle bank, though, the experience of flinging them in can be very satisfying
Therapeutic even.
11. Although sometimes you can feel yourself being judged
12. You at the bottle bank, tbh
13. You’re already dreading the Christmas trip
*blesses self*
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